My unstable heart is at once cowardly and confident.
This synchronous dichotomy just goes to show I have a lot of growing left to do.
My fears’ root is the sense that I have to be THE ONE: The one to prepare and execute the perfect plan that ensures success. It all depends on me, you know. Every outcome derived from my choices is, of course, my responsibility. I sink under the pressure.
But my confidence recalls that good works were already prepared in advance for me to do by a Lord who lovingly calls me his masterpiece.
My confidence recalls that there’s nothing I can do to screw up so bad that God can’t fix it.
My confidence recalls that I’m of even more value than the birds, who do not plant or harvest or store up food in barns – because our Heavenly Father feeds them.
Fear that delays our obedience is a distraction, and mere deception. The enemy has seen what God does through those who trust him enough to obey. He will help himself to their insecurities or pride – whichever thread he can readily pull – and unravel the whole divine plan.
Or so he hopes.
You see, he is really no match for our Creator. He may be stronger than I, but I am not myself alone. I am indwelled by the living God, and that is the extent of the battle plan I need.
So I am choosing to dig up that weed of fear – its roots are frail anyhow. Let my cowardice give way to that confidence which remembers I am not THE ONE. The perfect plan was never mine to assemble, but His.
Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the wind and waves obey him!”
What has your heart flip flopping right now? Me, I’m leaving my job and my income to raise three little boys and pursue a peaceful and life-giving home. No biggie, right?