I am NOT pregnant / Three choices when your imperfections are called out

“Will this be number three?” “Congratulations!” “How far along are you?”

Three joyful comments I have received in the last three weeks from sweet, ignorant passersby.

This is what a postpartum body can look like, folks! There are lots of variations. After five months, mine happens to be retaining its swell.

It’s not even a weight issue.  I’m just…

…   s   t   r   e   t   c   h   y   .

five-post-partum

I’m like the hair-tie that snapped back into form after the first ponytail. Then a mite less following the second.

But after the third ponytail was unleashed, it forlornly declared, “I will never be the same hair-tie again.”

Fact: I look pregnant even though I’m not. Just in case the bulge isn’t obvious enough, my pre-pregnancy pants do not fit, so I’ve been sporting maternity pants (aka  “pregnancy shapewear”) for an extended time frame. While I wait for the normal-human pants I ordered to arrive, what choices do I have when others notice my imperfections? I can think of three:

  • Offense.   It points fingers. Its focus is “they.” How dare they make such rude remarks! Haven’t they heard you should never say things like that? What a terrible human being.
  • Shame. It doubts. Its focus is “I.” I am disgusting. I’m an embarrassment. What’s wrong with me?
  • Confidence. It’s peaceful. Its focus is “He.” God made me. He loves me. Nothing else matters.

Being tighter in the mid-range would be lovely, and I could probably accomplish that with extensive workouts or surgerybut I don’t need a six pack to remember this truth tucked away in Zephaniah 3:

For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Ahhhh….. that’s soooo gooooood. 

What do you think I chose when three darling, smiling citizens offered those congratulatory pregnancy comments? Offense? Shame? No – I laughed. Hopefully in a way that showed those cherubs I didn’t even have to forgive them.

And honestly, I appreciated their delight for me, even though it was misplaced. People can be so kind.

So the next time anyone points out your flaw – whether with happy intentions or spiteful, and whether the voice is coming from the outside or within – remember the choices you have. Consider Who sings the joyful song. And choose confidence.

Love, Carolyn 🙂

Where are you choosing confidence today?

Advertisements

About Carolyn Nelson

Just trying to spread a little grace. I am in love with 4 boys (married to one, mother to three), and I think you're stinkin' awesome.
This entry was posted in Just Sayin', Our Life, Things We Have Learned and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I am NOT pregnant / Three choices when your imperfections are called out

  1. Dianne Carpinelli says:

    You are amazing and beautiful. This is a wonderful lesson. Thank you for all the insight I get from your writings. Love you!

  2. Dianne Carpinelli says:

    Aww. You are beautiful and amazing. I learn so much from you. HUGS!

    On Feb 28, 2017 12:05 PM, “ELEVATE / perspectives to lift you up” wrote:

    > Carolyn Nelson posted: ““Will this be number three?” “Congratulations!” > “How far along are you?” Three joyful comments I have received in the last > three weeks from sweet, ignorant passersby. This is what a postpartum body > can look like, folks! There are lots of variations. Aft” >

  3. Chelsi Dawn says:

    This is something so many moms face! I still struggle with my weight (going on 8 months later). Our bodies are different after having kids. That’s just a fact. We’re never going to look 16 again, but that’s totally okay. We’re not 16. We created human(s) with these bodies. People will think what they think because they have nothing else worth thinking about. You keep doing you!

  4. Jeanette E says:

    I think you look great!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s